Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
