No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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