i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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