i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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