My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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