he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This is classic penis vs brain.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize