he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
