he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
