Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
