By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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