I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
