WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I did not marry a roomba.
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