it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you would pick up someone in the library
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
