Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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