I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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