we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Alive.
So much puke
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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