If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
