No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
