i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
