I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
