Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
handjob tips. give me some.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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