watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
