Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
