my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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