That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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