glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Why is your signature on my underwear?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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