I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
