I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
