He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
