I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
