May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
