i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
