NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
