i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
