he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Vodka?
Forever.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We had sex on a dog bed..
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