Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
