Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
