It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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