You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
