i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i can't believe i had my finger in that
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
