so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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