Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
3pm strippers are depressing
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
