stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize