So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
did you just send me my own nude
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
