It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
