i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
