never play flip cup with pint glasses
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
