my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Damn victory sex feels great
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize