don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
