I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
