He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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