I must be too annoying 4 u.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
