Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I think I am morally bankrupt
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
