Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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