The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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