after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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