He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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