dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
