If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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