I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
