Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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