don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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