Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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