You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
