I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize