what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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