I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize