you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
