hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
