You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
