hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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