He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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